Thursday, May 23, 2013

Rapid-Fire Wisdom: Part Deux

It has been over a year since I wrote the first Rapid-Fire Wisdom, and a lot has happened.  I've learned a lot, and observed a lot more.  Being that school is on a quick break for me, I thought I might take a seat and pump out some more tidbits that you all can cram in your mindholes.

Once again, may I point out that nothing is absolute, so if you choose to follow any of this… it may not work out.

-Charles Caleb Colton's line, “Imitation is the sincerest [form] of flattery” is a first-class cop-out.  Real flattery comes from praise and promotion – not plagiarism.

-If you're staying in a strange city, don't be afraid to trust the concierge. They know what they're doing.

-You have to let someone’s signature joke or impression happen naturally.  Demanding it will ruin it.

-Peacocking is a ridiculous idea. Be natural, be yourself. She noticed you.

-Don’t get annoyed in someone seeks sympathy every once in a while, it helps if they're going through a tough time.  But if it’s a consistent thing, don't be afraid to call them out on it.

-Let your friends brag about you – it holds a lot more merit than if you did it yourself.

-People are rarely asked to give a speech that they're not being graded on.  So if you're asked to, accept the honor.

-Guys - If you're walking and happen to catch eyes with a woman – regardless  of her age, weight or looks – give her a friendly smile.

-"Check the validity of a quote before you cite it." -Jesus

-“On matters of style, swim with the current. On matters of principle, stand like a rock.” –Thomas Jefferson

-Find yourself a vice, an addiction, an interest, and a passion.  If kept in check, those things will give you a more rounded, interesting life than simple virtue.

-In cards as in life, don’t play the king if you can win with the jack, and don’t show your hand until you have to.

-Keep a pen and paper by your bed.  If you think you’ll remember that great idea when you wake up, you’re wrong.

-If you don’t know what that button controls, don’t press it.

-Be mindful of others’ feelings. Sure, you may think it sounds cool to say, “Screw how they feel,” but what if you were in their position? Yeah, you’d think differently.

-"Know-it-all" = "Asshole".

-Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

-There’s a difference between “Fake it till you make it” and “lying”.

-Buy a PostSecret book and look through it from time to time.  It’ll help remind you that most people are like you – they don’t have it all together.

-Guys – keep an eye out for a change in her hair. Mention it before she does.

-Guys – if you’re into her, be a man and just fucking say so.  You can’t win the lottery if you don’t play.

-Girls – He’s probably into you.

-You don’t have to like the classics, but you should appreciate them.  They’re classics for a reason.

-Own up to your mistakes, admit when you’re wrong and embrace your flaws.  People will respect you for it.

-Guys – if you're compelled to look at a girl, don’t stare.  Her friends are most likely watching you make faces only a registered sex offender could relate to.

-At this point in the English language, it doesn't really matter if you have one space between sentences, or two.  What does matter is that you should make a choice and commit to it.

-Never salt your food in the presence of the cook.

-“Every guy wants a good girl who will be bad just for him, and every girl wants a bad guy who will be good just for her.”  Just don't hold out for that, you'll pass over a lot of good people if you do.

-When entrusted with a secret, keep it.  If you're not certain you can, tell them.

-Take two Aleve a day – one in the late morning, and one in the early evening.  If you're observant, you'll notice what changed after a week or so.  You're welcome.

-Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

-Singing in the car or sticking out your tongue in photos doesn’t make you weird, much like wearing hipster glasses doesn't make you a nerd.  Weird is when you act like yourself and it makes people around you uneasy, and nerdy is things like… being fluent in Klingon.  If you're one of the beautiful people, just play that role and quit pretending – you’re pissing off the rest of us.

-It is perfectly fine if you have chosen to not own a TV.  However, you're the only one that cares.

-Learn to be a critical thinker. Before you pass along something you’ve come across, check its validity.  More often than not, you'll find inaccuracies – especially during an election year.

-Screw it, I'll just come right out and say it: JUST BECAUSE YOU FOUND IT ON THE INTERNET, DOES NOT MEAN IT’S TRUE. FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

-If you must borrow someone’s car, return it to them with a full tank of gas, and just as clean as you got it.

-If you can't afford to tip, then you can’t afford to go to the bar in the first place.

-There are a lot of nooks in the world. Find yourself one and use it as a place you can escape to.

-Fads die early and often.  Staying current isn’t hopping on every emerging bandwagon, it’s waiting for a little while and selecting the ones that matter and have staying power.

-Don’t use the term “FML” if you know where your next meal is coming from.  Quit whining and suck it up like the rest of the goddamn adults.

-Life isn't a movie.  The chubby comic relief doesn't end up with the dream girl.

-Don't split hairs if someone’s metaphor isn't dead-on, you’re not grading them on a speech. If you knew what they meant, let it slide.

-The same goes for grammar.

-Everyone’s life sucks to a certain degree. You're not alone.

-Simplicity is usually the best course of action.

-Keep your favorite childhood stuffed animal, and remember that there’s nothing wrong with hugging an inanimate object like it’s a puppy on Christmas morning.

…and last, but certainly not least:

-Don't be a dick.
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